I think this is a true life thriller marathon week.
So Michael and I are reclining next to each other on the couch working some math problems on a very large write on/wipe off board.
Michael says, "Look at that", and points to the near, upper corner of the board I've got propped up in my lap.
All I remember is seeing two long antennae. The next few seconds are a blur.
I seem to remember it suddenly leaping down onto the arm of the couch that I was also reclining on, and heading down, where I was also.
Michael, who lost a couple of hero points with me this morning, nimbly leapt up and off the couch, safely away from the creature.
I, in an effort to put some distance between me and IT, raised myself up off the couch in a bridge position, feet on the ottoman, shoulders on the back of the couch.
However, this put me in a dangerous position. Now, I could not get off the couch without dropping back down again. An even more horrifying predicament emerged, I realized my over sized shirt was dangling down beckoning to anything looking for a dark cavernous safety zone to hide in.
I have no idea how I got off that couch. I seem to remember yelling for Michael to help me (and watching him move WAY to slowly), flailing from side to side (I have no idea where the dry erase board was at this point) and frantically wondering where on earth that thing was.
Mind you this had to only be a couple of seconds but it felt like a good hour, life-and-death struggle to me. I finally ended up on my feet and standing next to Michael, both of us peering at the couch and seeing nothing.
Then, I feel it.
You know bugs are ok. As long as they are in their own zone and out of mine. But there are certain times when they have crossed over the zone that I've had to utilize my God-given authority to squish them.
There have also been very few instances where I've had to strip naked, but this was one of them. Fortunately for Michael, the closet was within 10 feet of me because I ran in there and stripped, faster than a renegade sergeant loses his stripes.
Sure enough, shaking out my clothes, out drops a c.... c..... I can't say it.
Shoes! That's what God made them for!
BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!
Just so you know, this entire episode from beginning to end was paralleled with a non-stop verbal haranguing of my poor non-existent hero. "I TOLD you it would get me! I TOLD you to help me up!!!!"
He said he doesn't like bugs.
Blood and death are OK, it's bugs he doesn't like.
I'm going to have nightmares for weeks.